When you raised yourself, some pieces to your DIY life are missing.
You know who you are –
You made your own meals, applied to school on your own, and left home as soon as you could
You were given no direction..
You can’t even give a name to how you grew up, you had a house, were considered smart in school but – there was always relentless drama going on in your house, even in the thick of it you felt invisible or the scapegoat. If there were favorites in the house it was never you.
You are not even sure if your parents liked you.
Where you grew up it was every person for themselves – you and your siblings were too busy in your own separate corners surviving to be tight. Now they act like distant cousins rather than siblings.
You had to figure out the world without guidance. Why didn’t some adult let you know that you were struggling because you weren’t supposed to be raising yourself? You found parent surrogates, mostly guys that were no good for you except they gave you attention – something you were so thirsty for. Your choices in partners/company made it clear you believed every negative thing you were told. It was easy to mistreat you.
You learned to trust others with nothing and always have a backup plan.
It helped you survive but not enjoy life.
You end up lonely. In theory, you would like to connect more. Since you have no standard for normalcy, it is hard to trust yourself. And relationships are complicated for you. You often feel you don’t fit in and if others really knew your true self they wouldn’t stick around.
When things go wrong in your life you
wonder if everyone would be better off without you.
After a disagreement or when a problem arises, you can’t explain why but you become a doomsday prepper in your head thinking you will lose your job, partner, friends, or kids.
But Kimberly – I don’t want to blame anyone for my present situation.
Whew, good because I don’t either! No one wins the blame game. I want to help you with insight and ways to respond that are different than what you know.
Here’s the thing though – you gotta look at how you got here to craft the path towards your better future.
What is it like to be in therapy with me?
You can expect:
Compassionate honesty – you will never have to guess where I stand | An ability to help folks see humor in their lives where they didn’t see it before
Enthusiasm to hear your story | Respect for your autonomy to write your own future
A fierce belief in your ability to make change that matters | Mad skills on how to communicate in the moments that count.
Together we can ditch the drama in your head for some clarity.